The Opportunist

“a person who exploits circumstances to gain immediate advantage rather than being guided by consistent principles or plans”

It’s been a while since I blogged, I was in Bali and I just got back from Los Angeles. I paused for a moment while I was out west and reflected on the vast amount of insanely genuine, supportive, kind and loving people I’ve encountered in my life. Then I compared that to the quantity of opportunists I’ve met in just the last few years and the statistics are astonishingly similar. I’ve learned that everyone grieves differently. For me, I still am in a partial shock stage; not quite knowing when I’ll snap out of this and definitely not knowing what stage comes next. One thing I do know, however, is that the vulnerability lies within each stage. This is where the opportunist, (*pun*) takes the opportunity to slide in and refocus the tragedy on them and their gain from it. I know this game all too well.

I could sit here and blog for hours about women that reached out to me who I never even knew existed, crying about my brother and how they were “supposed to marry him”. I could blog about the family members that only showed up to events that the media were at. Or the “friends” that used the funeral as an opportunity to mingle and flirt with SF dudes just to take someone home. Appalling to say the least. Those are burned bridges I never want to rebuild; onward.

What might be more appalling, however, is when you as a person push past all that and start a new chapter and you have a rerun of all of this. What is being perceived as a chance at a fresh start is vaguely painted with a false sense of hope, trust, and overall loyalty. In the SF community, I’ve gained perspective of how this family works. Trust and Loyalty are the key components and anyone who betrays either of those is out of the family. I’ve acquired a tremendously strong circle in the last 4 years and the feeling of trust and loyalty is mutual on both ends. I’ve, unfortunately, also learned first hand that 100% of this community does not hold a candle to those characteristics. A small amount is out for exposure at the expense of the vulnerable.

I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to experience a whole new level of opportunities, I’ve been locked into some intense training that will pave the way for my new career (I’m going to get my ass kicked, let’s just leave it at that) and I’ve realized that maybe, JUST MAYBE, the negative experiences taught me a lesson. Family is a strong term to associate with just anyone. By grouping the same type of people into that category, I was sad to learn that there are some bad eggs in the SF carton. Some are cracked, some have been drained of all the yolk but thankfully some are hard-boiled and never planning on cracking.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Hand pick the hard-boiled ones. And definitely do not trust everyone you think is loyal just because they’re “supposed” to be.

“Some people would say

To accept their fate.

Well if this is fate

Then we’ll find a way to cheat”

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